Personal and Career Coaching for Women Lawyers
Ellen Ostrow, Ph.D. (301) 578-8686

Are you living the life you dreamed of before law school?
Would you like to envision new possibilities for your life?
Isn't it time for a life worth more than the billable hour?

Making The Hours of Your Life Worth More ™

Issue # 32
IT'S TIME TO CHECK YOUR ALIGNMENT

Ellen Ostrow, Ph.D., Editor: Ellen is the founder of LawyersLifeCoach.com™ Personal and Career Coaching for Lawyers Determined to Achieve Extraordinary Professional Success AND a Fulfilling Life

OUR PERSPECTIVE

Most attorneys -- especially women -- live impossibly busy lives. Finding a balance between work and life without sacrificing professional success, deciding on the best practice area or work setting, and making career transitions can be a daunting task, even for the most gifted and accomplished lawyer.

Just as every person deserves the best possible legal counsel, every attorney deserves professional, dedicated support in accomplishing her most important goals. You know how hard you've worked to get where you are -- you serve others, both personally and professionally. You've earned the right to both career success and a fulfilling life.

This newsletter is intended to help you create a satisfying life -- within, or outside of -- legal practice.

WHAT'S NEW AT LAWYERS LIFE COACH

Stay informed about upcoming events, special guest interviews, virtual book signings, and more at http://LawyersLifeCoach.com/new.html

Index:

1. IT'S TIME TO CHECK YOUR ALIGNMENT

2. Ellen's Spring Speaking Schedule

• The ABA Commission on Women's First Annual Women In Law Leadership Academy
• Yale Law School
• The State Bar of Wisconsin Annual Convention
• The Annual Meeting of the Pennsylvania Bar Association
• ThirdPath Institute Redesigning Law Conference

1. IT'S TIME TO CHECK YOUR ALIGNMENT

"We have patience for everything but what is most important to us. We look at the life of our own most central imaginings and see it beckon. For the most part, we have not the courage to follow it, but we do not have the courage to leave it. We turn our face for a moment and tell ourselves we will be sure to get back to it. When we look again, ten years have passed and we wonder what in God's name happened to us.

We sabotage our creative possibilities because the world revealed by the imagination may not fit well with the life we have taken so much trouble to construct over the years. Faced with the pain of that distance, the distance between desire and reality, we turn just for a moment, and quickly busy ourselves. But then we must live with the consequences of turning away."

David Whyte [1]

LOSING YOUR WAY IN THE BUSY-NESS

During a consultation at a law firm, two attorneys shared very poignant stories. While in the middle of significant projects, both had received news that their fathers were near death. One had informed both partners and clients that she needed to leave town. Years later she is still grateful that she arrived home in time to say goodbye to her father. The other lawyer made a different choice: she put her work first. To this day, she regrets that her father died before she had a chance to say her final farewell.

Not every story about the need for re-alignment is this dramatic. One attorney recently confided to me that she'd worked very hard to become partner at her firm. Now that she had brass ring in hand, she realized she had no idea why she was there or where she was headed. She'd planned only to work there long enough to pay down her law school debt. Then she got caught up in the partnership tournament. Ten years later, she'd logged in 2500 billable hours a year or more, and had sacrificed developing intimate relationships. She wasn't unhappy with her work. But she'd always been guided by the expectations of partners, and now, a partner herself, she had no internal compass to guide her. She saw her partnership as an opportunity to take on a leadership role in her firm, but wondered how she could lead others when she didn't feel as if she'd been leading herself.

It's easy to get caught up in the busy-ness of legal practice. And many women believe that working hard and staying "under the radar" is the path to success. But when your choices are directed by the goals and values of others - family, employers, society - you can realize you've climbed the ladder of success - but that it's leaning against the wrong wall.

IS IT TIME TO CHECK YOUR ALIGNMENT?

How do you know that it's time to check your alignment? You may feel like you're on a runaway train - that your life is out of control. Or, you may feel dissatisfied and wonder why you're doing what you are. Some people experience a sense of imbalance, of having lost their center, as if the things they believed in got lost somewhere along the way. Sometimes they hardly recognize themselves.

If you feel this way, you probably don't want to face it. The feelings are uncomfortable. You may also feel trapped and helpless to change the status quo.

But the fact is, you're not helpless. You have the wherewithal to take control of your career and your life and to determine its direction. In truth, everyone needs a course correction from time to time. Even those who had a clear vision and goals find themselves in changed situations requiring them to revise their plans.

If you need to check your alignment, whether it's to make your activities more congruent with your values, or to take control of your career and become self-directed, here are some steps you can take:

1. HAVE A POSITIVE FOCUS

First, focus on the positives. Write down the accomplishments for which you're proud. Consider the aspects of your life for which you're grateful. This makes it far easier to make a course correction than when you're focused on deficiencies.

2. DECIDE WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT

If you've written a vision statement, take it out for review. If not, then this is a perfect time to begin. Your vision is an expression of your values. It articulates your sense of purpose - what you hope to accomplish in your life. Clarifying your vision is the first step in becoming a leader. In organizations, leaders define the purpose of the organization - the reason it exists. Managers determine how best to accomplish the goals. You can't effectively manage your time, your career, or your life, without personal leadership.

3. KEEP YOUR VISION IN SIGHT

Now that you've identified what is deeply important to you, you'll want your decisions to be driven by these values. This means, you'll need to keep them in plain sight. Write your vision statement on an index card and laminate it. Put copies on your computer, on the dashboard of your car, and anywhere else you're likely to be considering options for action.

4. MATCH OR MISMATCH?

Examine how you're currently spending your time. How congruent is it with your values and vision? If you discover a mismatch, then creating alignment will take longer and may be more difficult than anticipated. Begin with the end in mind and consider what changes you'll need to make. Carefully plan actions, one small step at a time.

5. ASSESS THE CULTURE

Consider the culture of the organization in which you work. It's difficult to succeed in an environment whose values clash with your own - and it's certainly an uncomfortable way to spend your time. One option is to try to be a "tempered radical" [2] - to try to produce change over time using your loyalty to the organization as your leverage. An alternative is to look for a more compatible place to work.

6. REVIEW YOUR REPUTATION

Assess the reputation you've developed. If you're unsure, ask trusted colleagues for feedback. Knowing how you're perceived is crucial for your success. In general, people are slow to relinquish their first impressions, and lawyers tend to cling to their assumptions with particular determination. If you conclude that your organization views you in a way that's not aligned with who you are and how you want to be seen, it may be time for a change. Certainly, you could try to stay and change the impression you've created. But be aware of the magnitude of the challenge you're taking on.

7. DETERMINE YOUR LEARNING NEEDS

Determine the extent to which you're prepared to do the work you find meaningful and fulfilling. If there are skills or bodies of knowledge you need to acquire, make a plan for your professional development. Never rely on your organization to facilitate your professional growth. It's your responsibility to manage your career development. No one cares about this as much as you.

8. FIND THE RIGHT PLATFORM

Decide whether the organization in which you work provides the right platform for you to do the kind of work that gives you a sense of purpose. As self-sufficient as you may be, you still need resources and support. You have a career - a "calling" - to develop and protect. It's more important than any job.

9. CONNECT TO PEOPLE

Evaluate how well you've been caring for yourself. Everyone's happiness depends upon having a network of supportive connections. If you've neglected your personal life, commit time to reconnecting with people and deepening relationships. You're far more likely to accomplish your career goals if you're working with a foundation of love and support.

10. EXAMINE YOUR HEALTH HABITS

In a similar vein, examine your health-related behavior.No one can be fully engaged in their work without taking sufficient time to disengage and refuel. You need rest, a healthy diet, sufficient sleep, exercise and genuine relaxation. Telling yourself that you don't have time for this actually sabotages your career. Without adequate self-care, you're choosing to put yourself at high risk for burnout and depression.

11. STAY APPRISED OF CHANGES

Consider the larger conditions in which you practice law. What's changed in your practice area, in the industry you serve, in legal business practices, and in what it takes to achieve your goals? Proactive personal leadership demands that you constantly monitor changes and organize your resources in the right direction.

Many attorneys have only recently awoken to the reality that everyone with whom they work is a client - managers, the people whose business they want, or their internal client. To be successful, you need to stay apprised of your clients' needs and know what it takes to create value. You can't afford to play a passive role in any of these relationships. Like personal relationships, these business relationships require you to actively understand how to accumulate large reserves in the "emotional bank account" as well as how to avoid making unintended withdrawals. You have the power to negotiate for most of what you want if you build a solid foundation for doing so.

12. CONSIDER WORKING WITH A COACH

Keep in mind that an executive and career coach is trained to help you craft and implement the kinds of action plans required to get you back on course - and keep you there.

Notes:

1. Whyte, David (1996). "The Heart Aroused: Poetry and the Preservation of the Soul in Corporate America." New York: Doubleday, p. 231.

2. Meyerson, Debra E. (2001). "Tempered Radicals: How People Use Difference to Inspire Change at Work." Boston: Harvard Business School Press.

2. Ellen's Spring Speaking Schedule

The ABA Commission on Women's
FIRST ANNUAL WOMEN IN LAW LEADERSHIP ACADEMY
April 16-17, 2004 Wyndham Hotel Chicago, IL

Don't miss this opportunity to network with women lawyers from around the country, learn client development and career planning skills and find out how to use your current legal practice as a segue to leadership.

Distinguished women leaders from government, corporate, law firm and non-profit sectors of the legal profession will share the lessons learned on their paths to leadership.

Ellen will participate on the panel, "EMPOWERMENT AND LEADERSHIP: TAKING CONTROL OF YOUR CAREER."

There's still time to register. Contact the Commission at http://www.abanet.org/women

A Thank You and an Invitation

So many of you took the time to introduce yourselves to me at the NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF WOMEN LAWYERS' seminar, "TAKING CONTROL OF YOUR CAREER," here in Washington, D.C. on March 12, 2004. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to meet you face-to-face.

I look forward to meeting participants in the WOMEN IN LAW LEADERSHIP ACADEMY. I've spoken to many of you on the phone and it will be a wonderful occasion for putting faces to voices.

YALE LAW SCHOOL
April 21, 2004
New Haven, CT

I am honored to have been invited to address students at Yale for a program sponsored by the Career Development Office and the Women Students' Organization. I will be speaking about "LIFE AFTER LAW SCHOOL: EXPECTATIONS, REALITIES, AND CAREER PLANNING ESSENTIALS.

STATE BAR OF WISCONSIN ANNUAL CONVENTION
May 5-7, 2004
Monona Terrace Convention Center Madison, WI

On Thursday, May 6, the Revised State Bar of Wisconsin Flexible Work Options Book will be unveiled.

I have the privilege of giving the opening presentation, "STRATEGIC CAREER PLANNING AND FLEXIBLE WORK OPTIONS," as well as joining a panel of attorneys from around the state to discuss flexible work options.

On Friday, May 7, I will present a seminar - "A LAWYER'S TOOLBOX FOR CAREER AND LIFE SATISFACTION" - sponsored by the Young Lawyers Division.

I look forward to meeting members of the Lawyers Life Coach community in Madison at the convention.

PENNSYLVANIA STATE BAR ANNUAL MEETING
May 12-14, 2004
Hershey, PA

On Wednesday, May 12, I will join a panel of women attorneys, including Holly English, J.D., author of "Gender on Trial," whom you may recall from our "Meet the Author" program last year. We will be participating in a program sponsored by the Commission on Women in the Profession: "WHAT THEY NEVER TOLD YOU IN LAW SCHOOL: YOU'RE THE BOSS - GETTING COMFORTABLE WITH BEING IN CHARGE."

THIRDPATH INSTITUTE - REDESIGNING LAW CONFERENCE
May 13-14, 2004
The University of Pennsylvania Law School
Philadelphia, PA

ThirdPath's First Annual Redesign Conference is entitled, "HAVING A LIFE: CREATING WORK-LIFE BALANCE IN THE LAW." For more information, go to: http://www.thirdpath.org/lawconference/index.htm

This will be an extraordinary conference, unlike anything you've experienced before. I strongly encourage both men and women attorneys to consider attending.

I will be sending out a special announcement with further details very soon.

BEYOND THE BILLABLE HOUR ™ is published monthly by Ellen Ostrow, Ph.D., founder of LawyersLifeCoach.com. She brings 20 years of experience assisting women attorneys to her work in Lawyers Life Coach ™.

LawyersLifeCoach.com is a professional and personal coaching firm specializing in working virtually (by phone with email and fax backup) with women attorneys interested in developing strategies to find greater satisfaction in their careers within the law or in exploring career alternatives for lawyers.

Ellen Ostrow, Ph.D. established Lawyerslifecoach.com to coach busy lawyers who might benefit from the insights gained from 20 years as a psychologist combined with her experience and familiarity with the legal profession.

Ellen holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from the University of Rochester and is a managing member of Metropolitan Behavioral Health Care, LLC., a multispecialty, multidisciplinary psychotherapy practice in Washington, D.C. and suburban Maryland.

She is a member of the International Coach Federation and a graduate of the Mentor Coach Program ™.

NOTE: BEYOND THE BILLABLE HOUR ™ is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for a personal consultation with a mental health professional and should not be construed as a form of, or substitute for, counseling, psychotherapy, or other psychological service.

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(c) Copyright 1998 - 2007 Ellen Ostrow. All rights reserved.

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